yungterra:

You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.

terrorechoes:

having the worst internet connection in your friend group

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iguanamouth:

fun with homophones

iguanamouth:

fun with homophones

sketchavolie:

So at my freshman orientation for college, we had a presentation on sexual assault. The lady who spoke was fantastic, and this was her opening PowerPoint slide. I wish I had gotten the rest of it.

sketchavolie:

So at my freshman orientation for college, we had a presentation on sexual assault. The lady who spoke was fantastic, and this was her opening PowerPoint slide. I wish I had gotten the rest of it.

neworleans-unknown:

religiousmother:

hantisedeloubli:

african-pyrite:

shantrinas:

krystyka:

This makes me really angry.

are you fucking kidding me

Wow

Fuck this country. I swear

whAT

What the fuck…

neworleans-unknown:

religiousmother:

hantisedeloubli:

african-pyrite:

shantrinas:

krystyka:

This makes me really angry.

are you fucking kidding me

Wow

Fuck this country. I swear

whAT

What the fuck…

grumpysalmon:

mayra-quijotesca:

ask-coffee-brew:

grumpysalmon:

ask-coffee-brew:

grumpysalmon:

caught this ugly fish today. released it immediately

whY WOULD YOU DO THAT THAT IS THE RAREST FISH YOU CAN EVER GET I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT AND YOU HAPPEN TO CaTCH IT AND YOU RELEASE IT THIS BETTER BE SOME SORT OF JOKE AND ITS NOT FUNny

oops i dropped another

arE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

THIS POST MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE SERIOUSLY DUDE EVEN IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE MUSEUM EACH ONE OF THOSE FRICKS IS LIKE 15000 BELLS DON’T TELL ME YOU ARE THAT WELL OFF THAT YOU DON’T NEED THE MONEY FOR PUBLIC WORKS OR HOUSE LOANS AND SHIT

itseasytobemerry:

thismachinespewssarcasm:

itseasytobemerry:

why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?

because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction

if anything it sets the mood

fasterfood:

thank god these criminals were caught, i feel safer now

fasterfood:

thank god these criminals were caught, i feel safer now

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

codenamekittyhawk:

so I took a road trip from canada to america and literally minutes after crossing the american border I watched a bald eagle fly past

there are some countries that live up to their stereotypes and theres america

gofatyourself:

The only form of Shitspeare I would care to read

gofatyourself:

The only form of Shitspeare I would care to read

aquapainter:

Oh my god

aquapainter:

Oh my god

emotionalpretzel:

My anaconda don’t want none unless you got nuns, hun

emotionalpretzel:

My anaconda don’t want none unless you got nuns, hun

handjob:

when your game freezes and you haven’t saved in a while

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handjob:

getting that look from your parents when your sibling curses

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