You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
having the worst internet connection in your friend group
fun with homophones
So at my freshman orientation for college, we had a presentation on sexual assault. The lady who spoke was fantastic, and this was her opening PowerPoint slide. I wish I had gotten the rest of it.
This makes me really angry.
are you fucking kidding meWow
Fuck this country. I swear
What the fuck…
caught this ugly fish today. released it immediately
whY WOULD YOU DO THAT THAT IS THE RAREST FISH YOU CAN EVER GET I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT AND YOU HAPPEN TO CaTCH IT AND YOU RELEASE IT THIS BETTER BE SOME SORT OF JOKE AND ITS NOT FUNny
oops i dropped another
arE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
THIS POST MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE SERIOUSLY DUDE EVEN IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE MUSEUM EACH ONE OF THOSE FRICKS IS LIKE 15000 BELLS DON’T TELL ME YOU ARE THAT WELL OFF THAT YOU DON’T NEED THE MONEY FOR PUBLIC WORKS OR HOUSE LOANS AND SHIT
why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?
because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction
if anything it sets the mood
thank god these criminals were caught, i feel safer now
once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”
so I took a road trip from canada to america and literally minutes after crossing the american border I watched a bald eagle fly past
there are some countries that live up to their stereotypes and theres america
The only form of Shitspeare I would care to read
Oh my god
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got nuns, hun
when your game freezes and you haven’t saved in a while
getting that look from your parents when your sibling curses