“omgg be my gay best friend, take me shoppingggg” no how about i steal your credit card and fuck your brother instead hhahaha
I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.”
and he was like, “What’s a uterus?”
this kid is going places
If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.
"Forget this stick. Square up Mickey."
me every summer
we’ve spent 7 weeks in a photoshop class at school and this is all my friend has to show for it
Time well spent.
I hate when I’m reading and then start thinking about stuff and before I know it I’m at the end of the page and have no recollection of what I just read
|—||Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via corivicious)|
if u think i’m attractive two things
- never NEVER never see my face irl